Does Jim still...?

[mav]

That is very, very interesting, quirky. Very inspiring. We all have faith in God. For me, god is my Mother. That's it. I've never had any sixth sense. A hurricane may be 2 yards ahead of me and I wouldn't know My mom has a little intuition sometimes. But no dreams etc. It's a little surprising that you have had these experiences, because I feel you are so analytical that you wouldn't start to interpret vague dreams. Just reading them is so exciting. It's also no wonder that you feel a little messed up from time to time. There are forces beyond our reckoning.....

I now don't visit places of worship. Once I had a negative experience in a Church which spooked me a little, because it was like someone is reading my thoughts and not liking it I've this 'open my mouth and put my foot into it' thing, so I now usually sidetrack serious discussions on religions. But spirituality is great! no rules, just love, it's where I want to be.

[cotton]

Cotton....you're interfering with my mojo here.

Oooppppssss sorry
Here you go
*Bends over* Please be gentle.

[mav]

You know, since I had my vision of the end of the world (which came after inviting Jesus into my heart) and three days of fasting and insomnia, mystical and wonderful things are happening every day. But it's also tempered with some anxiety. Kind of like the Tom Petty song "Learning to Fly".

When did this happen, quirky?
-

[quirky]

Well...I'll try to expound a little without becoming too emotional, because it was so overpowering that I'm on meds in order to overcome it. And it's like one of those sections of the Bible where someone gets a vision and is thought to be mad. I mentioned the landlord's fire, well...it was kind of starting then. Shortly thereafter, and around the time Jim's nephew was killed in the car accident...the landlord's only son was killed in a car accident, too.

I have never had a history of mental issues in my family and there are many portions of the Bible which are coincidental to my life. There are sections where it says (in the prophets) Him who has ears, let him hear. And those are the sections where I'm all ears.

My cousin's girlfriend thinks that there is a metaphysical thing going on...and connecting the dots is very hard. I want strongly to simply follow the faith of my grandmother...but something tells me that there is more and that everyone is missing it...but for some, maybe one path is enough. And those are the people I envy because since this experience I am so frightened that I will wind up driving myself over the edge.

It may, in fact, have been this website that brought it all forward and I have no idea where the journey's going to end...but this is one of the only places I feel safe posting now. Strange, huh?

I wish I knew what to do with myself. I have a Christian counselor and the next session where I talk about some of what I've been going through and some of my doubts is sure to be a fun one.

I have moments of absolute desperation at times, but I also feel oddly safe. As though maybe the energy of the world has shifted to a positive sort of energy.

[mav]

I want strongly to simply follow the faith of my grandmother...but something tells me that there is more and that everyone is missing it...but for some, maybe one path is enough. And those are the people I envy because since this experience I am so frightened that I will wind up driving myself over the edge.

Definitely. There is more out there (that I'm ok with not knowing.... not that someone is telling me, hah!). And exciting as it is, I'm not sure I'm excited that it's you who is having to go through it. Take a rest, atleast until you meet the counselor.....it would be good to talk it over.
-

gee, I still don't believe ur having to take medications for this.... get some good sleep quirky.
-

[quirky]

Oh, while I'm thinking of it. My SIL is a born-again Christian. While all of this was going on I saw wisps of black and also a shinyness when I called on the Holy Ghost to be with me. Now I really sound insane. She told me to read an author called Frank Peretti. A few days after I got out of the holding pen, I went on a day out with my family. We went to a flea market/barn where their niece had a booth. I wandered around and everything in the place reminded me of something from my youth. It was uncanny. Just bizarre. Like a literal trip down memory lane. In a basket was one of those free books from the internet, you know....you sign on and the book travels and it was Frank Peretti, "The Prophet".

So I'm reading that now. Along with the pamphlet on metaphysics, The Purpose Driven Life and the Bible. I gave up "The Handmaid's Tale" because I don't want to be the handmaid. The problem is, I don't know what I want to be.

[mav]

The problem is, I don't know what I want to be.

Professionally? Personally? A handmaid!? What the....!

I don't know quirky. Personally its enough for me to know we are god's children. Professionally, it doesn't matter what we do, it's not what we are. I kinda sorta get the surrendering that you speak about..... but man! it makes me want to cry

Take some deep sleep, quirky..... and just be in the now, if possible.
-

[quirky]

I'm also reading C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity".....actually I post more than I read. Maybe tomorrow I'll just mostly read, but the mundane tasks of life like washing the car and getting the groceries and pics developed do tend to intrude.

[Filomena]

Quirky, you sound like how I feel. Confused, restless, and at times, angry.

I've been going through my own personal journey that has done nothing but leave me with feelings of despair, when all I asked God was for peace of mind.

I've never been more spiritual, more in tune with my inner voice and more analytical than I have been now. But I can't seem to get myself out of this mess I'm in, called Life, and God can't help me the way that I want him too. And then I find myself pulling a Bruce Nolan, and I rant and rave, and I call Him every name in the book. But the messages I get are always the same.

1) Patience. The angrier we get, the less inclined He is to help you in the way that we want him too.
2) Always articulate to him what your problems are. Ask him to help you but don't expect miracles.
3) He can't interfere with your free will but he can help you get to that place called Happiness if we know in our hearts what it is that we want to do.
4) He can't intervene with the natural order of the world, so we can't accuse Him of all the misery that is inflicted on us through earthquakes, floods and other natural catastrophes.
5) Help those in need. Every person can help make the world a better place by doing something, no matter how small or trivial, if it is an act that is selfless and can help others in some way.


I don't want to sound like i'm preaching, but I wanted to share with you some of the things I've learned while I go through my own painfull discourse with God.

The bottom line is, God will help you if you ask him to. But take the time to listen to what He says. Follow your heart because it will never steer you in the wrong direction.

Hope this helps and don't be so hard on yourself.

Filomena

[searching_for_sunshine]

very well put filomena...that was very comforting

[quirky]

But take the time to listen to what He says.

I wish I knew what it was.

[Filomena]

Articulate to Him.

That sounds funny and weird, but we always assume that God just knows what is going on in our hearts, but he doesn't want to interfere with free will.

So sit down and think about all the things in your life that need clarification. Maybe write it out on a piece of paper. Say it outloud, if you have to.

Ask Him questions, like, "So, how do I pay for my bills exactly, if I can't get a job and I don't have experience??" (example only, but feel free to pilfer)

If you're writing it out, keep your pencil poised over the paper. Don't be surprised if your pencil starts to move.

If you're saying it in your mind, don't be surprised if you hear a voice in your head.

Don't be afraid of what you hear, or see on paper. This is what He does when we need help the most, and we're desparate for answers. But remember what Jim said in 60 minutes, "If you're not desparate, you're not interesting." Amen, Jimmy!

I read a book two years ago about talking to angels that changed my life forever. I will never be the same, because I communicate daily in this way with them. And when you talk to angels, you're talking to God.

And you know what? They will talk back to you. They will not let you down.

Here is the link to the author's website. You should find the book there.

http://www.angelspeake.com/

I'm not sure if your journey will be like mine, because everyone's journey is different, but try it.

Good luck! If you have any questions, let me know. Maybe we should continue this topic in Off Topic?

[searching_for_sunshine]

filomena,
i have tried asking the questions outloud and in my head but how do you know it is not your own psyche that is answering. i second guess myself all the time about that kind of thing. am i "willing" the answer in a certain direction? or is it being guided by a higher power? it's so hard to know

[fluffy]

That's what i mean about 'i think god is inside all of us'.........
he is us...........................!
we have the power with ourselves to become spiritual beings if we look into our souls..............

fluffy

[searching_for_sunshine]

maybe i'm just not confident enough with who i am to believe "the little voices"...?????????